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I need to better understand what the Feminine self means. Is that someone who shows up as empowered, self confidence, self worth, calm and vulnerable? If some one is controlling. Harness and get frustrated is that a male quality? What is the difference in the female self? Authentic means real Honest. Being true to yourself. I understand that. Exploring your feelings is being vulnerable. I understand that. Does putting those together bring you true happiness and joy. What does better mean in a relationship. Connection with listening, patience, understanding, acceptance?
i felt so empowered by the first lesson it gave me courage and momentum to make a phone call i was pushing off and to tell my husband matter of factly something small that was bothering me, with neutral energy no strings attached. thanks!
We hear that that which we criticize in others is a mirror of who we are but we NEVER hear the message that what we like and admire about others is a reflection of what is inside us too. What a powerful message and thought to wrap our heads around. I know some of my strengths and I know some of my weaknesses, but despite knowing my strengths, it is nonetheless hard to ACCEPT and OWN that the things I love so very much about the women I chose are/can be me too. Two of the three women live their lives sooooo deeply and profoundly connected to HKBH. Their love and warmth for Hashem, and people, ooze from them; you feel hugged by their mere smile. I don’t see that as me.
the dominant feature that came through is “warmth” – “compassion” among others. I know that to some people i can display this readily, yet oftentimes I’m impatient with my own husband and don’t make place for these emotions for him. I will iy”h try to be more forthcoming to him through this aspect of myself.
The 3 women that I admire are very special wives besides being very special women.
2 of them I read about and one I know personally. It is exciting for me to think that I can be like them because I would love to feel that it is a privilege to do anything that my husband wants and needs, do it with a smile and being humble, standing or waiting humbly until he is finished with whatever he is doing instead of rushing off and coming back as soon as I hear that he is ready again.
However, I don’t know how I can do that the whole time over the next 5 day or week. I could do it once a day to practice b”n until it becomes me, but in order to do that all day at this time I would have to immediately not join any more of this challenge so to do it now totally defeats the purpose of the challenge for me.
Be’h, I will be BEing accepting, loving and safe in the coming week, while my kids are all home on winter vacation. In order to live in integrity BEing an echo of those women to whom I look up, I hope it will LOOK like I have more patience and love for my kids and husband, SOUND like I am not quick to jump or judge or negate and FEELthat I am not only a safe place for them to share, but I also feel safe enough to be vulnerable with them.
I will try to BE confident (instead of second guessing everything I do or every choice I make), have simchas hachayim (& not worry so much), and be accepting-nonjudgemental of myself and others.
It will look like I’m more present, more mindful, enjoying the “little” pleasures in life,
Sound like more laughing, joking, and light talk,
Feel like I am good enough, even if I mess up and make mistakes.
I am committed to being calm, patient, encouraging, and loving.
That will look like I know what I’m doing, it will look like nothing can phase me, it will look like I am more loving and patient (and come across that way). It will look like I’ve got situations under control. It will look like my anger is gone. It will sound quiet, it will sound loving, it will sound happy… I can sort of see it and hear it already… it will feel relaxed and confident and happy, it will feel freeing, like I’ve got this, I know what I’m doing, no need to stress about it. It will feel calm and empowered. and I am feeling excited already. Just writing it out I already feel good about all of this.
Over the past 17 years since I became a wife and then a mother of my precious children who now range in years from toddler to teenagers, I’ve BEcome so busy managing my household, that somehow I’ve gotten lost in the process. I’ve BEcome the manager but that’s not the true ME. It’s not even who I want to really BE… and what happens when there’s chaos and mismanagement (daily!!!)…where does that leave ME? I don’t even really want that kind of relationship with my kids and where does my husband fall or stand in my managing role????!!!! How do I shift gears to BE who I yearn to BE? I don’t want to BE manager. I want to BE more feminine and more soft and more calm and more accepting and more forgiving and more delightful. How do I BEcome all of that?
After 40 years I have realized that so much of my unhappiness comes from a lack of willingness. I put up so many obstacles out of fear and hopelessness. The women I admire all appear to have a willingness about them. I find it interesting that non of them are Jewish.
My three words were authentic, calm, and deeply connected to Hashem. During this challenge I will remind myself that I will BE my authentic self and BE a human BEing not a human DOing. I will give myself the gift of self acceptance. Just as I know the people I most admire do not live perfect lives, and still show up with these traits I so admire, so do I show up with these traits even in my sometimes messy life.
For the next week I am BEing calm, serene, unruffled, accepting with grace everything that comes my way.
Iy’H I will BE more joyous with Simchas Hachaim, connected to Hashem, and not so hard on myself.
I will feel authentically happy and spread those vibes in my home.
I will feel connected to Hashem especially when handling challenging situations.
I will not judge myself harshly and I’ll try to limit my negative self talk.
Thank you so much for these inspirational classes, encouragement and empowerment!